Gambling three years ago

I have been thinking about all the choices I had made three years ago: I quit from my job and work on my master thesis!
It’s a gambling.

Three years past, I am stuck with the proposal of the thesis.
I gain almost no help from my professor.
She turned down my proposal.
I have never being turned by my clients, colleague, boss by the excuse of “not able to follow my thoughts”
I am a writer to them, I write the e-mail like poem with acronym.

Yet, I am a adult. I need to take the responsibility of my choices.

Just, I kept thinking about my situation three years ago: I “begged” my doctor to diagnose my knees syndrome and signed the ”prescription of not able to work for one month”
I needed to “beg” him so that I could ask my boss for the time off.

It’s I who put me in the situation like this, the same thing happens to me now.

I need to explain why I am doing this, and what’s next?

Sandy